Don't Grow Up - It's a Trap!

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Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

~ Walt Disney

There used to be an RV dealer near my house who routinely put the title of my blog up on their electronic billboard alongside their store. I always giggled and smiled at it when I passed it. It brought up memories of being young, carefree, silly, and joyful. Don’t we all long for the innocence of childhood?

What is this growing-up thing anyway? Is there a ‘right way’ to do it? How do we learn? How can we keep some of our child-like ways? How do we teach our kids?

Growing up is a never-ending cycle. We all go through it in different ways, at different times, and at different stages throughout our lives. As young children, we are just being ourselves. We play. We daydream. We act out. We cry. We laugh. We curiously investigate everything. But over time, as we grow, we are molded by our parents, teachers, and society. We are told how to behave. We get in trouble and are reprimanded. We are praised when we do good. We get report cards. We go through religious, academic, and athletic ceremonies, all evidencing and chronicling our growth and achievements.

And then there is adulthood and other forms of growing up. We get degrees, jobs, and vocations. Partners, marriage, children, aging parents, and finally, our sunset years. Growing up, maturing, and hopefully gaining wisdom all along the way.

But is growing up a trap? I believe that many of us can feel that way at times. I know I sure have. The obligations, rules, and striving we all engage in to be someone or something. We focus so much on outcomes. We have our checklists to mark off our goals. This school, that major, this job, that partner, this house, reaching a salary or net worth mark, and then the next one. Having the best or the most of something. Succeeding in all we do. Our society seemingly puts a lot of value on accomplishments – education, degrees, careers, and the never-ending hamster wheel of busyness. Whew! This growing-up thing can be exhausting!

So why not step back and be a carefree, innocent child again at times? Don’t put so much on your to-do list. Engage in some effort-less playtime! Don’t take everything so seriously and be a little silly. Have fun. Laugh. Do something crazy! As you bring up your inner playful child, notice how this makes you feel. Notice and remember the peacefulness and happiness you experienced without all of your grown-up concerns and obligations. Do you feel lighter? Freer? Happier? Now, those are definitely good feelings to bring into our days. With these feelings sprinkled around us, our growing-up adult life encounters will be more manageable.

The ultimate trap of growing up is forgetting to notice and enjoy the moments – big and small. Enjoy the everyday things and become inspired by things that make you go “awe!” Find that child-like wonderment in everything that amazed and excited you as a kid. A beautiful butterfly. Puddles. Presents wrapped with pretty bows. Puppies and kittens. Slow down and notice all the beauty that surrounds you. Smell the flowers and the rain. Be still and look around – there is much to see and be grateful for. When you take the time to notice a little each day, you might not feel so trapped.

And remember to dream. It’s never silly to dream about our future. At any age, we can still dream about what we want to become when we grow up ... as this growing up never ends! Don’t get trapped into thinking it’s too late for your dreams. While I might not become that dolphin trainer that I wanted to be as a kid, I can still go swimming with the dolphins on my next cruise! I don’t want to go through veterinary school at my age now, but I can volunteer at the local animal shelter, become a dog walker, or spend more play time with Caylee the Zen Puppy to get my animal fix. There was a time in my life when I wanted to be an architect, but it’s never too late to dabble in designing and building a new house! Dreaming about what we desire and then going after it keeps us young at heart, no matter how many birthdays we’ve had.

Is there a right way to ‘grow up?’ Probably not – it is as varied as each individual is. But not getting trapped in the process is crucial for everyone. The more we recognize and notice our progress, the better we manage ourselves and our expectations. And we will also be better able to help our kids through this process. Even though we might experience some eye rolls from our teenagers as we embrace our childlike playfulness, they will be soaking it in and realizing that life might be better if we are not so serious and never grow up!

How are you growing up?

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