'Remember, there is no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.'
- Scott Adams
An easy way to feel good is to do good for another person. I met a very engaging man on a Deepak Chopra retreat a couple years ago. We were a small group and able to get to know each other pretty well. This man told us of one of his secrets to a meaningful life – one good deed per day.
I can’t remember why he actually started this, but as he explained how he lives each day, I thought ‘How cool, I can do that too!’ His daily goal is to show one act of kindness towards another soul.
And then, to keep himself accountable to do at least one good deed per day, he bought a calendar to hang on his fridge. At the end of the day he would jot down what his good deed was, and watch the days fill up with wonderful acts of kindness.
These can be as simple as letting someone in before you in the grocery line. Giving a stranger a compliment about their dress or hairstyle. Holding a door open for another. Delivering an unanticipated gift to a friend. Calling up an old acquaintance that you haven’t heard from in a long while. Bringing cookies or flowers in on your next doctor appointment for the receptionist. Leaving a larger than normal tip on your dining tab. Bringing your neighbors paper to their front door. Sending an old fashioned ‘thinking of you card’. Sharing your umbrella in a downpour. Texting a smiley face and heart to your partner for no reason. Picking up a dropped pen. Giving a hug. The list is endless.
I was so impressed with this, that I came home from the retreat and tried to incorporate this into my own life. It was a little difficult to remember throughout my days at first. But before I knew it, it became a habit. As the days progressed and I became used to searching for opportunities, I often found a few good deeds per day that I had accomplished. I’ve been recording them in my evening journal for about a year and half now, but I’m thinking of a calendar on the fridge for next year.
This one little change to my daily life has made a big impact. These good deeds are never a planned or obligatory gift. They are a gift from my heart to a loved one, or a complete stranger. I was not always an impromptu giving person. My giving was more along the lines of ‘supposed to’. But now it’s becoming so much more of an automatic ‘I want to’. It makes me feel better inside. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel more whole.
During these recent covid times, it’s a little trickier as I don’t venture out as much. But I have found it’s pretty easy to pay for the car behind you at the drive thru’s. Or I phone my friends more often and give them kind words. Or pick up takeout for my parents and spend more quality time with them. Or donate to my meditation teachers through my app. Or giving encouraging words to my golfing partners.
Sometimes my good deeds crop up in extra treats, playtime, snuggles or walks with my Zen Puppy Caylee. And I try to keep myself in the equation too. Sometimes I need to give that good deed to me. A relaxing bubble bath, or an afternoon ‘off’ to binge on Netflix, or spend a day reading a book. Perhaps my special treat of a McDonalds quarter pounder goes hand in hand with my paying for the car behind me!
These are the little things that can be big things for others. Everyone loves to hear a heartfelt compliment every now and again. And who doesn’t like to receive surprise gifts! When I do these things for others, and witness the extra little glow it may have given them, it lights my heart up too.
What are the little ways you extend good deeds to others? How do they make you feel?
**** Update ****
A good friend of mine had an interesting observation after reading this blog. She thought that keeping track of good deeds might diminish the idea of them. Perhaps it would become more of a forced act to make sure you had something to write down, rather than a genuine giving act. Turning the good deeds into a bit of a scorecard. And I guess that could very well happen. But for me, it's an affirmation of my good intentions, and I like to see how they grow in diversity and types over time. It brings a smile and warms my heart to go back and remember how I may have impacted another soul. But if it turns into a scorekeeping chore, then something has gone awry and I will have a conversation with my own soul to correct my intentions! Thank you my friend for bringing this to my attention :)
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