Stillness

'Listen to silence ...

it has so much to say.' ~ Rumi

'I've always liked the time before dawn because there's no one around to remind me who I'm supposed to be. So it's easier to remember who I am.' ~ Brian Andreas

It is in the quiet and stillness where I believe we discover ourselves. It has been called a lot of different things. Meditation. Prayer. Mindfulness. For me, it is Inner Peace. Perhaps now, during the holiday rush, amid a pandemic and the ongoing revolving door of shutdowns is a good time to think about incorporating stillness to slow our emotions and stress level down.

Every morning I rise early and head to my chaise lounge, with my Zen Puppy. We snuggle and settle in, under a blankie if it’s chilly. This is my stillness time, my inner peace time, my meditation time. I don’t have a set schedule. But I make sure I sit in stillness every morning. Sometimes it’s only for a few minutes if I happen to oversleep a bit or have an early morning tee time, but most mornings I’m good for at least 20 to 30 minutes.

Meditation is different for everyone. And it might take a little bit to get comfortable with. But once you are, lookout! It has an amazing power to slowly transform you into a healthier, happier soul. I first started meditating to help my mental golf game. I thought it might clear up some of that inner chatter that creeps up on the course. Little did I know, it would start clearing up that chatter off the course too!

Sitting in stillness and just focusing on your breath is a great way to begin. First and foremost, get comfy. Take a moment to relax everything – your face, cheeks, jaw, neck, shoulders, torso, arms, fingers, legs, toes. Feel yourself get heavy and sink into your surroundings. Now just notice your breath as it enters your nostrils and flows down into and fills up your lungs and expands your belly. Then notice as you exhale, your belly contracts and the breath reverses it’s path up and out. Notice how the breath is cooler as it flows in than when it flows out. Just be still and do this a handful of times. This is basically what meditation is. Relaxing and turning the focus away from other thoughts in your mind, to noticing your breathing. When you are thinking about your breathing, there’s not much room for other thoughts. The goal of meditation is not to have a blank mind with no thoughts. That is pretty much impossible for us mere mortals. But rather to replace those thoughts with something like noticing our breathing or reciting a mantra or affirmation (‘relax’, ‘breathe’, ‘I am enough’… whatever resonates with you that day). You will still have thoughts that come and go, but all you need to do is let them come and go. Just witness them, don’t expand or converse with them, don’t attend to them. Just let them pass right on thru and go back to focusing on your breathing or your mantra. I have to admit sometimes though, that my chatterbox mind won’t stop. And that’s ok, I just try to calmly sit through her rambling, and know that I tried. I can look forward to her calming down another day.

Trust me, it gets easier with repetition and practice. You’ll find that the space, or gap, in between your thoughts gets bigger. That’s the space where your true self hangs out. That’s where the real work and benefits of meditation occur. As we grow our practice over time, that gap is where we want to be, and will end up in and out of more and more often. The first book I read on Meditation was 10% Happier by Dan Harris. After he discovered meditation, he realized he really was happier. And he is so right! Increased happiness is a huge benefit for me from meditating on a consistent basis, along with being healthier, less stressed, more focused and creative, more compassionate and grateful, better mood, better sleep – the list goes on for me. I know you will discover your own host of benefits along the way as well.

Try it by yourself for a number of times. Just for a few minutes and then call it a success! Slowly start increasing your time as you are ready – you’ll know when that is. Then try some guided meditations. Or start with the guided ones, there is no ‘right’ way. Just do what feels best for you. There are millions of guided meditations in our online world! And many apps to sort them out for you. My favorite app is Insight Timer. Check out my Resources Page for the apps and teachers I like. I find there are some days when I just want to be quiet with my little fountain bubbling and piano music in the background. Then there are other days when I need to have someone speak to me and my soul, to help me sort out what life throws at me. You will discover favorite teachers and favorite topics and return often to them.

Think about incorporating stillness into your own life. What can you do to find just a few moments each day? Right after you wake up? Or how about a quiet reflection time reviewing your day right before you go to sleep? Maybe even those quiet moments in the bathroom as you are all by yourself getting your business done! Commuting to work by bus or train is a great place to put your earbuds on and listen to some soothing music, close your eyes and notice your breathing. Or why not trying to have a still mind as you are doing mundane chores like cleaning or meal prep. Or while taking a walk with your pooch, or down the fairway. You can count your steps as you sync to your breath. Really feel the ground beneath your feet and feel the beauty around you. It’s great when you can find a spot in nature to sit and soak up its magnificence. Feel it, listen to it, smell it, enjoy it. When you stop to look at your day, I’m sure there are quite a few places where some mindful stillness can settle in.

Another form of stillness is really just noticing. Noticing what’s around you. The sounds, the temperatures, the objects, the people. Even your feelings. Just notice all of it, witness these things. Don’t attach to them, don’t engage them, just notice. It’s really just another way of stopping to smell the roses. Just notice them, and the ‘weeds’ too. Their beauty, their effortlessness at just being roses and weeds. Try to notice your heart, feel your heart, be your heart. Enjoy the moment. Smile. And you just might start noticing that you are becoming a bit more grateful for all of the beautiful, wondrous and magical things that surround you.

When I sit in stillness and experience a good meditation (which is really way more times than when my chatterbox mind shows up these days), things just naturally slow down. My breathing, my heartbeat, my mind. Not every time, but most times anyway. This is where the magic really starts. Even though I might not have a specific ‘thing’ I’m trying to sort out, I honestly feel my soul doing some preliminary work in almost every meditation. Sometimes it’s just a little nudge to feel more grateful. Sometimes it’s the warmth of compassion spreading out from my heart towards others or myself. Sometimes it is a quiet little pointer directing me towards a decision. But almost every time, it is a place of peace. It is where I know I am on the right journey towards my own healing and happiness. Can you start to be still and begin your own journey?