It's time to stop seeking advice from others and go inside instead. Ask yourself what you need and listen. Tune in to your inner guidance. You have the answer and it's safe to trust yourself. Everything you need is already inside you.
~Kris Carr
I have heard and read this statement many times throughout my Zen journey. It can sound a bit 'other worldly’ and woo-woo at first glance. Our lives are full of a million things coming at us every day. They ebb and flow, back and forth, round and round. Relationships blossom, fail, then blossom again. One job becomes another, and then another. Fortunes are made, lost, remade and just out of reach. Passions are discovered, overlooked and found again. Things are bought, sold, given away and then different ones take their place. Housing situations revolve around other people, jobs and climates. Health issues go full circle. Many of these are beautiful celebrations, while some become minor annoyances and others turn quite traumatic. Meanwhile, we have to make sense and peace of everything, over and over again, and still keep going. Sometimes their effects linger on until we get stuck and don't know where to turn. It is easy to find ourselves looking for some answers. Some help. Another person to fix a problem, or fix us. Or constantly searching for the next thing to make us happy, healthy, wealthy, in love, a better this or that. If only this thing were different in our life, then all would be fine. We dwell on a certain item, analyze, ruminate, complain, even daydream about what life would be like to have it. All the while, the real reason for this discontent goes undiscovered and unaddressed. Perhaps we need a new tool in our belt. A new way of thinking which can minimize the noise of all the never ending searching and striving for help, or better conditions. Yep, The Answer is Within. What does this truly mean? Well I for one, am still working on the meaning, but I do get glimpses of it every now and again. In reality, these upsets and longings in our lives are 'out there'. For example, in our wanting to be happy we go buy something we think will bring us joy. But after a few days of having this thing, we figure out it didn't end the happiness search. The same can be said with a relationship. We just need to find the perfect person to make us complete. Or the perfect job. You recognize the story, stuff happens, and you have to start searching all over again. Be curious and question if there is something in your life which you are seeking outside of yourself, in the hope of solving an issue. We delegate our power to a lot of sources throughout our lives: family, relationships, career, government, teachers, eating/drinking. We look to them to solve our problems and make us happy. It is not an easy challenge to figure out what you are needing the outside world to provide for you. Sit in stillness for a bit and ask yourself what you are hoping this external thing will give to you. Is it love, security, compassion, creativity, wealth, accomplishment, peace, strength, acceptance? Then ask if this is a recurring theme in your life? Once you narrow this down, imagine looking into a mirror. What if the happiness, or love, or compassion, or acceptance etc. is already within you? That thing you were searching for is staring right back at you! What if you start re-thinking about all of this from the inside out? We don't need the outside world to give us these things - we inevitably own them, really! The more we can find and accept these things within us, the more we will find them 'out there'. The more we love ourselves, the more love will come back to us. The more joyful we are, the more joy we will experience in the world. Empower yourself. Be that which you seek. Take responsibility for your feelings. It just takes a moment to pause and redirect our thoughts. So much of everything that confronts us day in, and day out can be narrowed down into our perceptions and our reactions. When we stop acting in habitual ways, more beneficial responses bubble up. When we can reframe our doubts, insecurities and fears into acceptance, security and love, and truly know they are within us at all times … lookout! The world becomes softer. Gentler. And yes, more joyful and happy. We are filled with more love and compassion for ourselves and others. This is certainly not an easy task, especially if you have grown accustomed to having external sources quiet your discontent. Looking within can become your new habit to fade those pangs of outer searching. When I seem to be at odds with something, I often think I need to soothe my sadness, anger or other not so great emotion with comfort food, tv, naps, shopping, complaining, or whatever, to feel better. But I am slowly understanding that when these things come up in my life, I need to take a minute or two. Some time to explore deeper and discover more of the 'why' I am feeling this way. As I learn more, and look objectively at the situation, I frequently find myself with a little aha moment. I am learning to honor, and understand the emotion that has cropped up. To be ok with it. And then I realize I don't need anything outside of my soul to make it better. I can fix it within! I can offer myself the love, support, security, or whatever I need at the moment. I am discovering it's ok for me to experience an uncomfortable situation and sit with it for a while. I don't have to enter the ignore, replace, complain, or hope someone else will make it better mode. The scope and size will begin to shrink in proportion to the big picture as well.
For me, it is so much more about taking the time to understand what is honestly going on. To shift my perspective inside. When I can do that, I am well on my way to providing the best answer for my soul and filling myself up with even more inner peace and happiness. And who knows, this might work for my golf game too. I just might discover the answer for the dreaded slice that crops up on the tee every now and again! What are you searching or longing for? Can you figure out why? Then try looking within for your answers. You might be pleasantly surprised by them!
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Again, beautifully said.